my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize