I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
