I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
