please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize