I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
