just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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