her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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