I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
