She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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