Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
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After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
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Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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