I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
did you just send me my own nude
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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