So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
