Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
