He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
