Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
