and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
