The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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