Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
