so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
