So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
