I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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