We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
