I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
