Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
