I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
