he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
