there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
