your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize