considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
