she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
NoShamevember. You game?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
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