take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
