I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I believe in your delicious
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