My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Randomize
