So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
