craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
