It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
