i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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