I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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