I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
