and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I believe in your delicious
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
