It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
