We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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