Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
