peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
