Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
