with your own penis?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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