***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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