So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
