the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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