Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
