I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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