Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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