can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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