thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize