The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
