Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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