It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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