I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
