So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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