I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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