Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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